Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Final Exam Hell

The semester is winding down at school--which means it's time for the big exam crunch. This is a particularly stressful time in which second-guessing oneself becomes second nature, and the usage of vacation time for those of us that work imperative. I personally become stressed out, cranky, emotional and basically extremely hard to live with.

What is so difficult to understand is why this time never gets any easier. One would think I would be an old pro by now when it comes to finals. I'm not. It starts a wave of migraines that do not end until mid-December. Especially this year--Excedrin Headache #377: Algebra.

One thing about it, once they're over, they're over and then it's totally time to cut loose. I will be partying as soon as they are done. I'll find myself a designated driver and then proceed to work on a blood-alcohol level that matches my GPA. (Hey, it's good to have goals.)

I will be so happy to have time off, and besides, that'll mean I'm halfway to summer break (yay!). Oh, but then Christmas shopping will come--boo. I'm feeling pretty Grinchy right now, but it could be a side-effect of finals.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Welcome to the "Crazy Cat Lady" Club!

I think that some of you may be wondering why I call myself a spinster...the answer is, because I am. If it was forty years ago, I would be a "Maiden Aunt", "Spinster" or "Crazy Cat Lady"--forget that I have no cats. Funny thing is, I never pictured my life the way it has turned out. I always thought I would be married with children by now. Nope, I am...dada da duh da duh "Career Woman". Invitee of all showers, weddings, christenings, naming ceremonies, and all other functions that single women detest going to. You see, when you go to these things, not only are you expected to bring a gift, but also to give of your free time--on a weekend usually, then while you are there, they proceed to politely insult you.

"Don't worry, it will be your turn one day" an Aunt will say, while thinking in her head--"Good thing my daughter married young, this one doesn't stand a chance."

"Maybe you're just too picky." which translates to: "Maybe you shouldn't be so picky."

"Don't worry--I was thirty before I had my first child." which translates to: "You're a year behind, better catch up."

"You know these days, you don't have to be married to have a baby." which translates to: "You better hurry, I hear a clock ticking..."

My particular favorites were during the time I dated Chet.

"No ring yet I see." An Aunt sneered to me while looking down her nose.

"So, you and Chet talking about marriage?" which translates to: "If not, you'd better work it into conversation, you don't have very much longer."

"You're giving Goldie and Kurt a run for their money, aren't you honey?"

"What's wrong with you?"

OK, so the last one wasn't very polite, but was actually said to me at a bridal shower within the last year. When I was asked why I wasn't engaged yet, and said: "Well, he hasn't asked me." I was treated with that as an answer.

The funny thing is, that this behavior is considered socially acceptable behavior. It's totally OK to single-girl bash with wild abandon at these functions. Those who are married--and sometimes not even happily so, are very bloodthirsty when it comes to comments. The only comment that I was ever given by a married woman that was nice goes as follows: "Girl, you don't know how smart you are. Run--Run for the hills, and whatever you do, don't let some jackass slip something on your finger while you're not looking." I won't divulge who this woman was but suffice to say she was above the age of sixty, and a family member.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately, especially since the breakup. How do I deal with these people now? The worst part is that the breakup has left an open wound, and these comments actually really hurt now. Especially the insensitive prying that people have taken to regarding the breakup.

I'm beginning to believe a comment that a co-worker made to me at the age of eighteen:

"You are going to be the crazy cat lady--a total spinster, you're going to have a little yellow house on the corner with twenty million cats, sitting on your porch swing reading Popular Mechanics, threatening the neighborhood kids with a shotgun to stay off your grass!" this, followed by a guffaw of laughter, "Minster the Spinster--hey it kind of fits!"


Wednesday, November 08, 2006

My Wednesday Rant

My youngest brother is getting married, I don't know if I've mentioned that before. For anyone who doesn't know me, I have two brothers--James and John. In order of age, I'm the oldest, then John and Jim is the baby. I of course, have struggled with the thought of being the oldest, and not only being unmarried, but having no children as well. OK, so I've had a really hard time with it. I never had dreams of some big career, though my life is beginning to follow that path, I just wanted to have a family of my own. Now I see my dream all around me with my friends and family playing out the part that I had figured for my own. I've been to countless baby showers, bridal showers, diaper parties, and bachelorette parties. I've spent, I'm sure, thousands on other people's weddings, children, and things of that nature. And I've felt left out every single time. Like I'm not part of some club that I want desperately to belong to.

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for my brother, I'm just kind of sad for myself. And as I hear the plans for the wedding continue on, and on, and on, and on, I just feel a general disconnect from the normal happiness that I feel. It's probably very selfish to feel this way, and I'm not a selfish person. I don't even care if I have some big showy wedding, I just want to be married, to have that commitment with someone that I love. Sorry everyone, I'm just feeling blue.

Monday, November 06, 2006

So...I'm a turtle????

I received this email from a friend of mine today that let you see what your "birthday animal" was, and what it meant. Apparently I'm a turtle...which I found to be a little insulting, until I read the blurb that went with it:

If you are a Turtle : You are near to perfect and nice at heart. The examples of your kindness are always circulated in groups of people. You, too, love peace. You wouldn't like to retaliate even to a person who is in the wrong. You are loved due to this. You do not wish to talk behind one's back. People love the way you always treat them. You can give, give and give love, and the best part is that you do not expect it back in return. You are generous enough. Seeing things in a practical light is what remains the best trait of you guys.

So, I wasn't SLOW, which was the first thing that ran through my mind, but just ya know "near perfect" I like that, I think it's going to go in the resume. (HA!) I'm putting a copy of the email in this blog so that you can see what you are!!

January 01 - 09 ~ Dog

January 10 - 24 ~ Mouse
January 25 - 31 ~ Lion
February 01 - 05 ~ Cat

February 06 - 14 ~ Dove
February 15 - 21 ~ Turtle
February 22 - 28 ~ Panther
March 01 - 12 ~ Monkey

March 13 - 15 ~ Lion
March 16 - 23 ~ Mouse
March 24 - 31 ~ Cat
April 01 - 03 ~ Dog

April 04 - 14 ~ Panther
April 15 - 26 ~ Mouse
April 27 - 30 ~ Turtle
May 01 - 13 ~ Monkey

May 14 - 21 ~ Dove
May 22 - 31 ~ Lion
June 01 - 03 ~ Mouse

June 04 - 14 ~ Turtle
June 15 - 20 ~ Dog
June 21 - 24 ~ Monkey
June 25 - 30 ~ Cat
July 01 - 09 ~ Mouse

July 10 - 15 ~ Dog
July 16 - 26 ~ Dove
July 27 - 31 ~ Cat
August 01 - 15 ~ Monkey

August 16 - 25 ~ Mouse
August 26 - 31 ~ Turtle
September 01 - 14 ~ Dove

September 15 - 27 ~ Cat
September 28 - 30 ~ Dog
October 01 - 15 ~ Monkey

October 16 - 27 ~ Turtle
October 28 - 31 ~ Panther
November 01 - 16 ~ Lion

November 17 - 30 ~ Cat
December 01 - 16 ~ Dog

December 17 - 25 ~ Monkey
December 26 - 31 ~ Dove

If you are a Dog : A very loyal and sweet person. Your loyalty can never be doubted. You are quite honest and sincere when it comes to your attitude towards working. You are a very simple person, indeed. Absolutely hassle free, humble and down-to-earth!! That explains the reason why your friends cling on to you! You have a good taste for clothes. If your wardrobe is not updated with what is trendy, you sure are depressed. Popular and easy-going. You have a little group of dignified friends, all of them being quality-personified.
If you are a Mouse : Always up to some sort of a mischief! The mischievous gleam in your eyes is what makes you so cute and attractive to everyone. You are an extremely fun-to-be-with kind of person. No wonder people seek for your company and look forward to include you for all get-together's. However, you are sensitive which is a drawback. People need to select their words while talking to you. If someone tries to fiddle around and play with words while dealing with you, it is enough to invite your wrath. God bless the person then!
If you are a Lion: Quite contradictory to your name, you are a peace loving person. You best try to avoid a situation wherein you are required to fight. An outdoor person, you dislike sitting at one place for a long duration. You are a born leader, and have it in you how to tactfully derive work from people. You love being loved, and when you receive your share of limelight from someone, you are all theirs!!!! Well, well... hence some people could even take an advantage, flatter you to the maximum and get their work done. So be careful.....
If you are a Cat : An extremely lovable, adorable person, sometimes shy, with a passion for quick wit. At times, you prefer quietness. You love exploring various things and going into depth of each thing. Under normal circumstances you're cool but when given a reason to, you are like a volcano waiting to erupt. You're a fashion bird. People look forward to you as an icon associated with fashion. Basically, you mingle along freely but don't like talking much to strangers. People feel very easy in your company. You observe care in choosing your friends.
If you are a Turtle : You are near to perfect and nice at heart. The examples of your kindness are always circulated in groups of people. You, too, love peace. You wouldn't like to retaliate even to a person who is in the wrong. You are loved due to this. You do not wish to talk behind one's back. People love the way you always treat them. You can give, give and give love, and the best part is that you do not expect it back in return. You are generous enough. Seeing things in a practical light is what remains the best trait of you guys.
If you are a Dove : You symbolize a very happy-go-lucky approach in life. Whatever the surroundings may be, grim or cheerful, you remain unaffected. In fact, you spread cheer wherever you go. You are the leader of your group of friends and good at consoling people in their times of need. You dislike hypocrisy and tend to shirk away from hypocrites. They can never be in your good books, no matter what. You are very methodical and organized in your work. No amount of mess, hence, can ever encompass you. Beware, it is easy for you to fall in love....
If you are a Panther : You are mysterious. You are someone who can handle pressure with ease, and can handle any atmosphere without going berserk. You can be mean at times, and love to gossip with your selected group. Very prim and proper. You like all situations and things to be in the way you desire, which, sometimes is not possible. As a result, you may lose out in some relationships. But otherwise, you love to help people out from difficult and tight spots when they really need you.
If you are a Monkey : Very impatient and hyper!!! You want things to be done as quick as possible. At heart, you are quite simple and love if you are the center of attraction. That way, you people are unique. You would like to keep yourself safe from all the angles. Shall your name be dragged or featured in any sort of a controversy, you then go all panicky. Therefore, you take your precautions from the very beginning. When you foresee anything wrong, your sixth sense is what saves you from falling in traps. Quite a money minded bunch you people are!!