Sunday, March 14, 2010

Wasting Time

Really. That's what I am doing here. It's 8:30AM, really 7:30AM, stupid time change thing. I'm not wanting to do a single thing that I need to do today. I need to finish cleaning, file my student aid forms, and do laundry. I don't want to do any of that. I want to take a nap, veg out, and find a moment of peace this weekend. So here I am playing Social City on Facebook, drinking coffee, blogging, and feeling extremely guilty for not doing what I need to do. I got a lot accomplished yesterday though. It may not look that way to the untrained eye, but I know how much stuff was taken care of, and how long it took me.

Little Women is on the TV, such a good movie, such a great book. I loved Louisa May Alcott when I was a girl. I read all of the books, and I'm that they never made a movie about the rest of them, they were all good. Also, out the window, what was darkness has lightened up to a gray, wet morning. Not a help for my lazy mood. It is cool however, to sit and watch the flocks of birds as they land, sit for a second, then move to a different part of the field next door. The snow is almost gone, there are just three parts of it left that once were snowbanks that stood almost as tall as me. The ice is nearly melted on the pond, with only a small oval of it still in the center, where the pond is deepest and holds the cold longest.

So, here I sit, daydreaming about being able to stay at home all of the time, take care of the house, yard, dogs, and just be creative. It's been so long since I've had idle time to paint, crochet, read, bake, or do any of the things that spell joy to me. As I was going through some of Mom's things yesterday I thought about how I would really like to scrapbook some of the cool stuff I found for my brothers' families. I would love to make scrapbooks for them with our family information and sentimental stories. Our family may not have had a lot of money, but we were once a colorful, close-knit bunch. Thinking about it now is bringing tears to my eyes, because I miss them so much. It's strange to think that now my brothers and I are the oldest in the immediate family. Oh, we have Aunts and Uncles left, but Grandparents and Parents are all gone. So quickly. I think that the silence in the house is contributing to this introspection. The little ones in the family are missing out on the most, because they only have one grandparent left. Their Mother's Mother. Sad. Well, I've got to get myself out of this little funk and get moving, otherwise nothing will get done today.

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